A New Pope

A huge sigh of relief blanketed St. Peter’s Square when the new Pope emerged onto the balcony, and everyone could see that it was not Dennis Rodman. Although there is still some speculation that the new kid may also have tattoos, they are well hidden under the vestments and shouldn’t interfere with his new duties.

The selection process was, at times, confusing, occurring as it did simultaneously with the NFL’s Free Agent Scramble. The two activities occasionally crossed one another, and U.S. Politics even entered in at one point. However, Mitt Romney took another job although there had been consideration given to a merger between the Catholic and Latter Day Saints Churches, the former providing the traditions and elaborate rituals, and the latter the cornucopia of cash from its widespread investments. In an interview with one of the U.S. Cardinals, he indicated that Pope Benedict had been placed on Injured Reserve and relegated to a taxi squad; that the conclave was described as “The Papal Draft” and Mel Kiper, Jr., was asked to evaluate the candidates. There was even a rumor that they each were timed in the 40, wearing cassocks.

Other perspectives entered in to the selection;  traditionally, a Pope had to be old and knowledgeable of the Church’s Biblical History and Traditions. To find someone to address these concerns, it was first suggested that the Church consider a “Dual Pope”, and hire Billy Graham for the “old” quality and at least one Rabbi to provide the interpretations of the earliest days of the Bible. Both ultimately were rejected, Graham because he probably in currently paying too much attention to some of the Baptist colleges’ basketball successes (Wake Forest, Baylor), and rabbi’s due to their probably close relationships to the plethora of standup comics flooding the entertainment world. One commentator shuddered at thinking the latter would start a service with, “A funny thing happened to me on my way to Mass”, and go downhill from there.

Oh, well, at least it’s over for the time being, and everyone can wonder, once again, if the New Guy will address the major issues of Gay Marriage, Priestly Indiscretions, Celibacy, Women’s Rights and Their Role in the Church Hierarchy, Birth Control, and other things involved with the usual Catholic Church tradition of living in the past.


People who leave shopping carts in parking lots, so they can be blown into cars. Are examples of self-centered, arrogant individuals, too lazy to push the emptied cart to a designated area; instead, blocking access to parking spaces. The Germans may have partially solved this; I noted that at a supermarket, a shopper, wanting to use a cart to take groceries out to the car, deposited some money into a coin slot mounted on the cart’s handle, and received the money back when the cart was returned.

Those cardboard ads inserted between the pages of a magazine, thus effectively preventing me from happily thumbing through the articles. The AARP and golf magazines I think are the worst; I usually spend a few minutes ripping out all the offending literature before proceeding to my reading.

Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough for being rude and insensitive. They like to ask questions then interrupt the answerer before they can finish, and so they themselves can “dominate” with their own opinions. I’m tired of Scarborough living in the past, constantly going to “when I was in Congress during the Reagan years” or something akin, instead of realizing that today’s situations are quite different. And Reagan wasn’t that great anyway. Matthews is very bright, but is probably the most obnoxious person on TV. If he’d play “Softball” instead of “Hardball”, perhaps his real messages would get through more effectively.

Wolf Blitzer for consistently trying to make everything controversial, pushing people to express inner thoughts in order to spark conflict among guests who have been invited but are not always treated with respect.

TV interviewers asking persons directly involved with a traumatic incident, “How did you feel when—-your child was run over by a truck, you discovered that all your IRA had been wiped out, you were told that you only have three months to live, your daughter has been missing for three days, etc. etc. etc.

What are some of your peeves (bloggers?)

Always Be Happy…in Spite of Peeves!    To Our Youth…Always!

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